The Elicit Truth

via Daily Prompt: Elicit

The elicit truth you say

No matter how

Bring it forth today

And take a bow

For the truth shall set you free

Each and every time

All of eternity

Unlike the mime

You shall forever have peace

In your mind and soul

It shall never decease

So make it your goal

Honesty my friend

Is what it’s all about

It will last to the end

There is no doubt

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Community Generousity

So this church came to my apartments to help with thanksgiving dinner, Suzanne White Roberts, the boys and I walked over to the community center, there was singing and it was a really cool little set up. I got a 16lb turkey, stuffing, corn, green beans, mashed potatoes and a red velvet cake mix with butter cream icing. Also, they did a raffle and I won a $15 gift card to Frischs. Feeling pretty blessed today. I think the boys and I may be going to church in the morning. ūüôā

What a great thing communities do for their own. I was there to witness the testimony of God, grace, and humanity.

I have never been a part of something like this before. It was wonderful to see people go out of their way, that don’t have to, to make sure others have a wonderful holiday. Just seeing this makes my Thanksgiving more meaningful. ¬†I am so thankful for these kind people for seeing that people in need have a wonderful dinner.

The young lady that shared this story to social media is a recovering addict. ¬†I have seen her go from deaths door to tears of graciousness in a record amount of time. ¬†She may not be rich in monetary means but she is rich with the blessings God has in store for her. ¬†She has turned her life around, got custody of her two beautiful boys back and works a full time job. ¬†She doesn’t own a car, when need be she will walk those boys to daycare,(where she has to cut through the woods on a trail due to location and no sidewalks), so she can catch a bus to get to work. ¬†If that isn’t determination, I don’t know what is. I am proud to call her my daughter. So to see people come and give her hope is something I am truly thankful for.

I know we would like to believe that poverty in our great nation doesn’t exist, but it does. ¬†Please keep this in mind, if there is anything you can do for anyone, please do. ¬†You will be truly rewarded in ways you can’t imagine.

Start the Day

via Daily Prompt: Percolate

coffee-156158_640

 

 The percolating awakens me

I open up my eyes

I can barely see

But to my feet I rise

As the smell fills the air

It makes the day seem bright

For there’s coffee somewhere

To make the day all right

Is it the smell or taste

As I scramble across the floor

But there’s no time to waste

I must get out the door

I’m on my way

Coffee to go

To start my day

Time to make some dough

I let myself go

I let myself gobathroom-scale-1149264__340

I found an old picture today.  What happened to me?  Where did I lose myself? How did I become everything I said I wouldn’t?

I couldn’t help but to keep going back and looking at it again and again.  Why?  Did I think it would help my self-image any better?  Well it didn’t.  Instead it made me sick.  It proved to me that I was right about myself all along.

It proved that I don’t have what it takes to love me.  I don’t have the willpower it takes to change.  Do I have so little regard for myself that I totally gave up years ago and become something even I can’t fathom?

As I look into the mirror at what I have let evolve, how can anyone possibly love me when I couldn’t myself? Who in their right mind would find someone like me attractive?  How does my husband really feel?  After all, I hear remarks he makes about heavy people he passes.  Yet he stands on his defense that it’s all good.  I don’t believe him.

What do my children think of me?  My family?  Am I an embarrassment to them as I am to myself? I would like to think not but one can never be sure.  They are going to love you no matter what because they don’t want to hurt you.  The reality is however, I am hurting them.

God I pray with every ounce of my being that you give me the will to love myself and to change what I have done.

 

 

 

 

The Fire

via Daily Prompt: Flames

Did you ever just sit and stare at a fire? The intense heat and reddish yellow hues it emits create something warm but yet mysterious.  It’s actually hypnotizing. You just seem to stare into those flames as they ravage whatever is in their path. Like a lion eating its prey.

How can something that is suppose to keep you warm or heat your meal be so cruel?  So intense that you wished for salvation. So ravishing and uncontrollable at times.

 I suppose it’s like everything else in life, it has good and bad qualities. As long as it’s contained and controlled properly it’s good but if it gets out of control its an exhausting battle. 

 

 

Decisions

via Daily Prompt: Or

Hilary OR Trump

Right OR Wrong

This OR That

East OR West

North OR South

Everyday we are asked to make choice. ¬†Nobody ever knows for sure if some of the decisions are right or not. ¬†But we must ask ourselves, “Do I feel good about my choice?” If you have no qualms about your decision then it was definitely the right one for you.

Choices can be hard sometimes but we must remember that we have to make the decision on whether it is right for us.  Not someone else.  If you feel good about it only for it to turn out wrong, then so what.  You did what you thought was best and that my friend is what is important.

 

Things I find Irksome

frustration-1583655_640Things that bother me most
Are things like burnt toast
And peanut butter without jelly
to fill my belly

Teens that are rude
Or even crude
Kids that don’t mind
Who need a swat on the behind

Clean laundry all over the floor
Makes me refuse to do more
Dirty dishes all over the house
Enough to attract a mouse

People that turn you into a spy
Cause all they know how to do is lie
They turn you into a sleuth
Just to find the truth

I could go on and on you see
of things that irk me
But you probably don’t have all day
To hear what I have to say

 

 

 

<a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/irksome/”>Irksome</a&gt;

Guilt

‚ÄčIsn’t guilt a funny thing? How can some people just make you feel so bad? I for one always feel guilty for something. Mostly because I don’t like to see someone hurting. I can’t stand to see a person needing something more than I can give.


Telling someone “no” is very hard sometimes. No can be very hurtful to people. Especially if they are sensitive or feeling down. There are times that you, yourself just need to reevaluate your own needs for peace of mind. So therefore, you have to say no to someone. Unfortunately it winds up hurting you just as bad as them. Guilt.

There’s nothing worse than seeing someone in a situation and know that you can’t help them. I am not a rich person by any means. If I were maybe there would be less guilt. I could help more. I could give them what they need.  Damn it…..guilt.

Then there’s those poor animals without homes. You just wished you could build a huge shelter and house them all. Feed them, love them, and show them affection is all you need to do.  We all know that it’s an impossible thing to do but…….guilt wins again!

If I were just an emotionless person, it would be better. At least that’s what I tell myself. I do know that my heart is to big for that scenario. My heart is huge and all I want to do is make everybody feel better. Yes, I know this is an impossible feat but I’m still going to try.

Guilt is a nasty thing. It hurts your heart and soul to the core. It causes sleepless nights, tears, and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. So whatever you do, try not to make someone feel guilty if for some reason they can’t help you at that moment. You neve truly know how someone else is feeling.

All of me

 

What if someone said to you, “All I have to offer is me.” How would that make you feel? Is or would that be enough for you? ¬†Does money really make the relationship work? Are looks everything? Do you really need a nice car or house to be in a relationship?

Unfortunately in today’s society, money is everything. We feel in order to be appreciated or loved we must be able to offer more than ourselves.¬† I only wish people knew that wasn’t the case.¬†¬†If they did, there would a lot less lonely people.

Never be afraid¬†to offer “me” to someone you truly care about. In the end if it was meant to be, it will be.¬† If not, you truly haven’t lost anything. If nothing else, chalk it up as a lesson for the next real thing.

Just remember, if you can’t offer 100% of you, how can you expect someone to offer the same.

 

Daily Prompt: Panic

via Daily Prompt: Panic

If there is one thing I can actually elaborate on, it’s panic.¬† Being diagnosed with anxiety and panic disorder, along with Agoraphobia, is no fun.¬† The combination is merely a disaster.¬† For those of you who don’t know what Agoraphobia is, it’s the fear of leaving one’s safe place.¬† Meaning, to venture out somewhere unknown is traumatic.

I was diagnosed with these conditions after having a hysterectomy.¬† The hormone changes caused a chemical imbalance and led to the most awful chain of events.¬† I have always known a little fear but not like this.¬† This is something that is so indescribable.¬† It is the worse feeling in the world.¬† You¬†never know from day to day if you are going to be able to go the store, the doctors, or your child’s school events.¬† It’s frustrating to say the least.

I remember when it first began after surgery.  The intense fear.  Fear so real that I could not understand what was happening.  Hyperventilating, sweating, and tears were being released from my body and there was nothing I could do.  My body would literally be sick. My mind would race a hundred miles an hour.  What in the world was happening. I could not even walk out the front door.

Needless to say, after trials of medications to get this fixed, I have found a fit.  Unfortunately, I will probably be on them the rest of my life.  It has caused severe depression, anxiety, and of course panic in everyday life.  Traveling, going shopping, and any event really has become an issue.  I, however, am strong. I am learning to cope with the meds and trying to conquer these fears.  I am hoping someday to overcome this madness and return to life as I once knew it.

It’s been six years now.¬† I am able to go more places and learn to cope a little better in¬†public.¬† Maybe, just maybe, I am finally getting some life back.